52:4 Every goodbye makes the next hello closer
having to say good-bye, staying strong and treasuring the next hello.
Late last year, Travis took a new job with a company based in Silicon Valley (tech capital of the world) which would require him to be gone much more than he already was, leading us to make the decision for me to be a full time stay-at-home mom. 4 months in, we are still adjusting – me being a single mom much of the time and Elisabeth missing her daddy during the week. When Travis and I talked about the decision for him to take the job and the impact on our kids, we thought it may not be much different than when he wasn’t traveling as much since by the time he got home from work, Elisabeth would be in the bath and on her way to bed, making their interaction time limited anyway during the week. And although she’s very attached to her mommy, I can tell she feels his absence when he is gone. Its just another change for her and I know she will adjust. If anything, it has made her time with him that much more special. She wants to talk about her week and everything we’ve done, show him the things she’s done and learned at school and any new developments or accomplishments she’s had with her ballet, puzzles, or phonics sounds. And every time he comes home from a business trip, he brings her a “surprise” which makes her so giddy when she sees him the next morning after his late return the night before. Their hello’s have become so sweet.
As for myself, I think I’m just now adjusting and becoming less anxious about playing single mom when he has to go and the days that he is gone go by fast now. If anything, after 7 years of marriage, this adjustment has made me appreciate my husband and the person that I married so much more. I really am one of the lucky girls that married a great guy. We’ve had a great 7 years together and I can truly say that our marriage has been pretty smooth sailing this whole time, but this change has brought us so much closer than ever. It has also made me stronger as a mother. Although I get the benefit of being there for the wonderful moments during the week with our little girl, I have to put up with most of the tantrums and challenges that come with raising a 2 year old all on my own. But it has made me more patient and more compassionate towards my baby because when her daddy is gone, I’m all she has and I have to be there for her through the good and the bad.
We’ve decided as a family that this situation wouldn’t be long term, but for where Travis would like to take his career, this is a great opportunity for him right now and we will support him as family. The long term benefits are good for all of us. Many times, when I tell people how much he has to travel and be gone for work, people gasp and have this look of pity for me; but it’s no different than a mother being married to a doctor who has to work 100+ hours per week. It’s very similar actually. And if anything it has made us closer and stronger as a family, appreciating what matters that much more, and living in the moment with each other instead of sweating the small stuff.